Three Words to Make You a Good Listener

Recently, I attended a presentation by Sandra Yancey, founder of e-women network.  When she referred to three “X” words, something clicked for me.  These aren’t X-Rated words but X-Relationship-building words or X-Make me-a-good-listener words, or X-Now-I-get-what you-mean words.

When you really want to understand someone, or make them understand that you seek to understand them, try these three words:

• Example—“Can you give me an example of that?”
• Explain—“Could you explain your point in a little more detail?”
• Expand—“Could you expand on that?”

Three “X” words.  Very simple.  Very powerful.

Organize Your Business Writing or Presentation with a Strategy You Can Count On

Have you ever had the task of engaging people with differing needs in the same message?  Do you wonder how to address executives and technical specialists with the same message?  Here’s a strategy you can count on.

At first, provide the material as an overview.  In presentations, use a short description, perhaps illustrated by an uncluttered slide.  In documents, discipline yourself to provide an executive summary (even if there are no executives involved).   Make this overview both concise and complete, so that if a person receives only this piece, it will provide the essential information or argument.

Follow the overview with a deeper layer.  Use the skeleton of the overview, but add supporting explanations, examples, flow charts, or statistics, as needed.  In a document, this layer follows the executive summary. In a presentation, this layer is the heart of your message. 

When finished with the second layer, summarize the skeleton of the overview.  Reiterate the importance of the information or the action you request.  End with power and action.

As take-away material, provide a detailed handout, an appendix, or a link to in-depth content a skeptic or a technical specialist will require.

This strategy allows the listener or reader to grasp key concepts quickly and to process supporting material with the bigger picture in mind.  It allows the receiver to make an initial judgment about the priority or feasibility of your information.  It provides the detail needed, but allows the receiver to access that material on his or her own terms.

Use this strategy to shape your next message.  You’ll engage the executives, technical specialists, and the folks in between.

© 2008 by Bonnie Budzowski, InCredible Messages, LP

I invite you to download a free “before and after” of a persuasive business document at http://www.inCredibleMessages.com . You’ll find lots of free articles on powerful presentations as well.

Stupid Mistake #9: Conclude Your Speech Abruptly

Here’s the situation:  As my husband and I were watching a movie, I was reminded of an important rule about how to conclude a presentation.  We were watching the movie, The Manchurian Candidate.  As this film came to its close, I felt my jaw drop open. Beside me, my husband shook his head in disbelief, “Is that all?” The movie had ended abruptly. The hero (Denzel Washington) stood gazing blankly over the ocean, his feelings and his future unresolved. There we were, still on the edge of our seats, and the movie was over. It had stopped on a dime.

Shuffling out of the theater, I felt dissatisfied and frustrated. A thoroughly suspenseful movie had left me hanging at the end. Testing out a theory, I asked my husband about his feelings, “Do you feel angry?” “Yes,” he answered, “I do.” I realized that I felt angry too.

Here’s the stupid mistake:  What holds true in a movie holds true in a presentation. An audience expects an ending. In fact, an audience expects a cohesive package that moves smoothly from beginning to middle to end. A good presentation does not end on a dime.

Here’s the solution:  As you prepare the close of a presentation, keep the following points in mind:

• Audience members expect you to provide closure or tie things together at the end.
• Audience’s perceive an unspoken contract with speakers.  When you start a story or a line of logic, they expect it to come to a satisfactory conclusion.  
• The conclusion is the final impression of your speech.  If you do a great job throughout and then flub the conclusion, the audience is left with a negative impression.
• The most powerful speeeches end with an action statement.

Now I invite you to view a free longer version of this article–with practical suggestions for closings: http://www.incrediblemessages.com/Articles/pp-10-dime.htm.

 For more stupid mistakes that sabotage your speech, check out this special report: http://www.incrediblemessages.com/products.htm#howtowin.

Add Power to Speech with the 7-Second Rule

On television, images change approximately every 7 seconds.  Yet, in organizational settings and conference presentations, we expect audience members to watch the stationery body of a presenter, speaking from behind a podium, for an hour or more.  No wonder people dread these presentations!

To be effective as a speaker, you have to recognize that our culture is increasing fast-paced and increasingly visual.  Here are some tips to build changes into your next presentation:

  Give up the podium.   It’s okay to use the podium as a home base.  Just don’t plant yourself there!  When you move with purpose, you add interest and variety for your audience.  For example, try moving away from the podium when you make a key point, or when you ask for audience participation. Of course, random pacing, due to nervousness, doesn’t count as purposeful movement.  Think:  walk, plant your feet; walk again, plant your feet again.      

Make your PowerPoint visual.   An agenda for the presentation is helpful for the audience as well as the speaker.  Overall, however, words on a slide don’t work as visual stimulation—no matter how often you change them.  If you choose to use PowerPoint, add changes with photographs and dramatic graphs.  Show brief video clips that support your points.  Just make sure that everything you use is relevant and easy for the audience to grasp.        

 Add vocal or auditory changes.  Raise the volume of your voice to emphasize a point.  Try a stage whisper to draw the audience into a little-known fact.  Practice a powerful pause.  If possible, add brief musical transitions between points.

Give your stories the stage.  Concrete examples, brief case studies, and stories are powerful ways to add variety, interest, and practicality to presentations.  Make these gems stand out in the midst of a PowerPoint presentation by hitting the “b” key on your laptop.  “B” will give you a blank slide, so that you, the presenter, can move forward and connect with your audience in a powerful way.  The change will be refreshing to audience members.  When you wish to return to the slides.  Simply hit the “b” key again.

Use natural gestures.  Use the gestures that come naturally in conversations.  These include suggestive gestures like shaking your head and demonstrative gestures like showing the height of an object.  Even a shrug will create a brief change for the audience.  For a bigger change, consider using a prop or two as natural extensions of your gestures.

It’s hard to compete with a change every 7 seconds.  Unfortunately, this is what your audience members have come to expect, even if they don’t realize it.  Build changes into the content and the delivery of your next presentation.  You’ll be rewarded with a more engaged and attentive audience.

Law of Persuasion: Is Likeability Really Important in Business?

Technical whiz kids, scientists, and others professionals focus on increasing their skills:  the goal is to be an expert in their chosen field.  While education and expertise are important, researchers now insist that more is needed for success.  The highest levels of achievement come to those who mix expertise with likeability.

Research studies consistently reveal that people respond positively to others whom they like.  People prefer to do business with and to buy products from people they like.  Mitch Anthony, author of Selling with Emotional Intelligence,puts it succinctly, “Likeability is as important as ability.” 

While you may not officially be in sales, you must sell your ideas, your credibility, and your recommendations every day.  Here are some suggestions:

• Accept the fact that developing likeability is an important success strategy.
•  Find and mention the points of contact or similarity you have with others.
• Learn to listen respectfully and to demonstrate an open mind.
• Engage in small courtesies and expressions of appreciation, regardless of the other person’s formal status.      
• Learn to keep gossip, unkind words, and disparaging remarks unsaid.
•  Take time to laugh with others.
• Choose a likeability mentor—observe and learn from someone who excels in likeability.

Persuasion Technique: Imagine This!

An article on the power of suggestion in persuasive communication relays an important lesson for business communicators.  Most of us approach persuasion as an exercise in  logic and statistics.  According to Don Price, we’ll get much better results if we appeal to a person’s imagination (http://searchwarp.com/swa119495.htm).   

Price claims that the power in the words of politicians, sales, and marketing professionals just might be hypnotic.  These folks can mesmerize us, moving us to fall in love with a product or a position by stringing words together in a way that “fires off your imagination” in a persuasive way.  Is this hypnotic?  You decide!  Can it help your next business pitch?  Absolutely!

Price compares a salesperson’s “pitch” to classical hypnosis, as follows (in italics with slight adaptions):

A Salesperson’s communication may go like this:

•  When you own this home you are going to love holding her in you arms, late at night, while sitting by this fireplace. You’ll create memories to last a lifetime.      
• Imagine coming home on a cold winter night and snuggling up in front of the warmth of this fireplace.

Classical hypnosis may go like this:

• As you relax more deeply on the object you’re on, it will begin to feel like you are floating back deeply into a wonderful journey.     
• You’ll soon discover that your mind will readily absorb all the positive suggestions that I have given you just like a sponge absorbs water.

The structure is the same in the sales communication and classical hypnosis, but the content and verbal suggestion is quite different. All the suggestions set up expectations in the mind of the listener. Our imaginations fill in the blanks as to what the expectations are. The choice of words and the order in which you use them has the power to change how people think and influence the actions they take. 

For the most part, business communicators don’t work to “fire” the imagination.  We say things like, “This fireplace is an asset during cold winter nights.”  There’s no trigger for the imagination, nothing to “grab” the listener’s attention.  In short, there’s no persuasive power. 

Competent business presentations will always contain logic and statistics.  The most powerful ones, however, will also appeal to the imagination, to the deeply held values and desires of individuals and the organization.  In your next formal or informal business presentation, insert the words, “Imagine this. . . !”  You just might tap into some true persuasive power.

Need Power in Your Speech? Emulate Your Teenager

Teenagers are adept at punctuating their conversations with nonverbal signals.  This habit is especially annoying to parents, but it can also be instructive for your next business presentation.

 A classic example involves a teenager at dinner.  The parent asks, “What happened at school today day?”  The teenager shrugs and grunts, “Nothing.”  That one shrug suggests plethora of meaning.  It suggests apathy, lack of engagement, distrust of the parent, a drawing into self….  A shrug suggests.

Comedians are adept at suggestive gestures, but so are professional speakers.  Add suggestive gestures to your presentation in the way you might add spices to your soup.  Experiment with a shrug, followed by a pause in your next presentation.  Try lifting your eyebrows or scratching your head to suggest meaning.  Tilt your head quizzically for effect. Have some fun!

The key to using suggestive gestures is to do what you’d do naturally in a conversation, just a bit exaggerated so the audience can catch it.  Rehearse to figure out just what “naturally” means to you.  You already have effective gestures.  Use them purposefully to add power to your presentation.

Power in Your Presentation: Cut Your Word Count

Copywriters know there is power in brevity.  For example, Coke–it’s the real thing!  These are  five memorable words that have carried the brand a long way.  Verizon’s, it’s the network, is even less.

As a speech coach, one my biggest challenges is to encourage people to cut words, especially when telling a story.  When preparing a story for one of my own speeches, I write the entire story out.  Then I begin to cut away chunks of information the listener doesn’t absolutely need.  Then I go back and look at the words I’ve chosen.  I try to make every word alive and descriptive.  In the end, a three-minute story often turns out to be more powerful as a six-minute story.  A professional communicator, I’m in the business of cutting works to gain power.

Even so, I was caught short by the power of an exercise on the Smith Magazine website.  See  www.smithmag.net/sixwords.  The idea is to write your life story in six words.  Here’s one person’s example:  Cursed by cancer; blessed by friends.  How powerful is that?!  Make a visit to this website.  You can submit your own six-word story and check out the collection from famous and not so famous people.  This is an exercise in eloquence worth pursuing.  Send me your examples!

 PS:  I first learned about the six word stories at: http://www.exec-comms.com/blog/business-communication/telling-your-life-story-in-six-words/. 

Need Concise Business Writing? Consult Your Suitcase

“How can I write concisely?”  This is one of the top questions people ask me about business letters and business writing.  In one of my recent business writing workshops, a participant shared an analogy that provides a good answer.

Lee Casher told us about a rule her daughter learned when packing for a trip overseas.  Lee’s daughter was traveling with a group to Israel, where she would have to carry her own luggage. In the instructions for packing, group members were told the following, “Pack your suitcase with the things you think you will need.  Then unpack the suitcase and remove 1/3 of the items from the suitcase.  At that point, you’ll have just the right amount.  People always pack more than they need.”

This rule holds true for business writing.  When we first put down our thoughts, we use extra words and even extra sentences—because we are still formulating what we want to say.  If we go back and review what we’ve written from the reader’s perspective, we can easily remove 1/3 of what we’ve written, making the writing more concise and more focused. 

Believe it or not, I’ve tested this rule over a long period of time, with many writers.  Years ago, I read a book called Revising Prose by Richard Lanham.  Lanham maintains that almost all writing has a 30% “lard factor” that he can easily revise out.  This seemed like a challenge to me, so I gave it a try.  I found I can routinely reduce my own word count by 30%.  I can often cut an even higher percentage in other people’s writing.

The suitcase rule works.  One nice feature is that this process allows you to “dump” your thoughts or make a quick and sloppy first draft of a business letter or e-mail.  Professional writers know it’s more efficient to write a quick first draft and then revise it than to try to write concisely the first time, before you are even sure exactly what you want to say.

Try the suitcase rule with your next e-mail or letter—pack, unpack, and discard one third.  It really works!

Need Power in Your Speech? A Quick Lesson from MLK Jr.

On Martin Luther King Jr. day, I always reflect a bit on his “I have a dream” speech and how that speech left its mark on our nation. I feel a little guilt because I don’t want my passion for a good speech to eclipse King’s continuing call to our nation.  That said, have you ever thought about the power of King’s “I have a dream” speech?  

Among other things, King was a dynamic and powerful presenter.  Most people don’t feel they hold a whisper of a chance to match King’s passion.  At the same time, this speech uses a technique that is available to anyone!

King inspired a mixed audience of 200,000 when he gave this speech in Washington in 1963, and today people recognize the refrain and connect it with his name.  Not many remember the details of the speech, but almost every American, from school child to senior citizen, can connect “I have a dream” with the inspiration of Martin Luther King, Jr.

King knew his listeners wanted to believe in the hope of justice, but the obstacles were daunting.  History had been ugly on this point.  Yet, King knew he spoke to people with deep convictions; he made a connection between his cause and the deep dreams of his audience for themselves, their children, and their nation.

Martin Luther King Jr. wove a golden thread of America’s promise and the dream of freedom for all.  In the center of the speech, he repeated a golden refrain, “I have a dream…,” finishing the statement each time with concrete images of racial equality and harmony. 

In a song, it’s the refrain that connects the different verses together; it’s the refrain that sticks in our heads.  In King’s speech, it’s the refrain, “I have a dream” that rings with passion in our nation even today.  We remember it, and it still has power to move us.  This is part of King’s legacy.

As I honor Martin Luther King Jr. today, I am well aware that his example of an outstanding orator is not the most important gift he gave to our nation.  Even so, as a professional speaker and speech coach, I can’t help but appreciate this gift. 

Chances are that your next business presentation won’t be about something as important as racial justice.  Even so, you could make your point with concrete images that touch the priorities of your audience.  You could create a refrain that rings in their ears as they leave the room.  Your speech, while it might not change a nation, could be memorable.  It could make a difference in your sphere of the world.  That’s worth a little effort.  What is your refrain?